As usual I am at the end of my wits in February, just as the tight grip of winter is about to let go, I feel I have reached my limit completely. I think it's been a better winter than most - although it's hard to say now that I feel so endlessly fed up with it - but yes, I think so. I have dealt better with it than before and cherished the fertile darkness more this time. But now? Enough darkness. Enough of looking in and down. I need light and heat, I need to walk on the forest floor, I need birds and the trickling of water and feeling my cheeks warm up from pure sunlight. Now I'm just the spiteful child who willfully doesn't go out even though the days are stunning in their winter glory. I've decided to dig myself in here until it's over. At least that's what I did today, while cursing the people who posted skiing videos in the sun on instagram, and although it seems like worlds away, I know that spring is right around the corner. I might peek my nose out tomorrow, but just maybe.