It was after dinner, and after tidying the table, I crashed down on the sofa and felt so sleepy. I remember thinking how wonderful it would have been to be able to have a nap just then, in a quiet house. But my house wasn't quiet. The kids were playing and laughing and quarrelling and doing their normal thing, regardless of my tiredness. And I caught myself thinking how lovely it will be when they are a bit bigger, when I can nap if I want. But then I thought about the years after that, when they will have moved out, and I am free to do whatever I want, nap when I want, sleep all night and all morning if I want, drink my coffee in peace as many times as I want during the day, go when I want and come home when I want, noone will be waiting. No small feet rushing out in the yard to greet me when I park the car after having been away, no babies climbing on me when I try to read something, no full cups of tea waiting around undrunk because someone needed me for something, noone disturbing me at all. And I thought about how much I will miss these times, the days that I am in right now, with all its mess and chaos and clutter and noise, when my house is quiet. So that nap can wait, and instead I pinch myself again and open my heart to feel how completely privileged I am to be surrounded by these light beings that are my children. These are crazy times, the best of times.