I can't remember the last time I've felt so ill. I have been struck by a terrible attack of the flu, so I've spent the last five days in bed, going a bit mad at times. My restless nature. It gives me many advantages - it gives me the speed to get things done, but it also brings solid challenges. I am becoming more aware of them. And in a strange kind of way, it felt fitting in all its stressfulness that I should have no other option right now than to just lay there, and wait, and let the illness run its course through my body. I have tons of photos to edit, I had to postpone a job, I don't have time to be sick now - but, still, it felt like it was exactly what I needed. Because I have a lot to think about, I have a whole person to listen to (me), and I haven't done much of that lately, to be honest. 

Before I fell ill, there was this evening, I had put the boys to bed first, and then the girls and I went to bed after them. Two snoring little boys in a bed. The windows were open, the blinds were down, but there were streams of evening sun coming in through the cracks. Birds outside still singing frantically, buzzing of flies, a light draft through the warm room. Me and my four magical children in our huge bed together. Always, together. 

And it is things like these I have thought about when I have been sick this week. How my wealth really only comes in one form: Not by the number of jobs I have, but by love. Only by love.