Beautiful boy, you are loved.
You're sleeping now, I just put you to bed, you're in there in our big bed with your siblings, snoring away like you do. You are completely unaware of the date or the sentiment your mother is going through. And I guess that's a good thing.
It's the evening before your first birthday, a year after you were born downstairs from where I'm sitting now, in our living room. You will probably read this in ten years time, or I will read it to you before (most likely), and maybe you'll think I'm soft and weird (which is true), but I hope you will read one thing out of this: the Love.
I have been a mother of four people for a year now. For a year my heart has been fuller than ever, fuller than I imagined possible, beating with more force than ever before. You have completed my pack of cubs, you are the last in a line of crazy little people who came in and changed me forever. I am so thankful.
Your birth was a dream; it was everything I had ever wished for, and I am so proud of us for that. And although life was rough for us in the beginning, I am proud of us for that too, we nailed it, we made the best of it and came out on the other side. When things were chaotic and I was full of fear, you led the way, you showed me that you were fine, that all I had to do was be with you, hold you close, and let go. You were my spirit animal. You still are! You magical little person, so full of the joy of life, so fierce, so busy - always so busy! - and such a little star. You spread love wherever you go. You are a true earth baby, fearless and full of love for everything, open for everyone crossing your path. Big smiles all around, no fear.
Ulv River, Wolfie, my wolf cub, you are my heart outside my body. I am so proud to be your mother. Your strength and determination is mind-blowing, your beauty makes my heart bubble and your love is fresh and pure and strong. You have taught me so much.
Thank you, my little friend, and happy first tour around the sun!
(click on the images to see them big)